"So, Chad.  It says here you were in the Peace Corps.  Very impressive.  What made you decide to do that?”

 

"Honestly, I needed a break from Corporate America...and America in general, for that matter.  Don't get me wrong, I love this country, and I'm happy to be back.  But being out there, in third world countries, where these people have close to nothing...it really makes you appreciate things more.   We take so much for granted.” 

 

           I nodded, somewhat hypnotized by his voice.  I stared at him for at least five seconds before realizing that it was my turn to speak again.  "Oh!  Great.  Sounds wonderful.”

 

           "Yes, it was." 

 

           "So, what motivates you to put forth effort in the work place?" 

 

           Chad thought about the question before responding.  Always a good quality to have in a boyfriend…and a candidate for that matter.

 

           "I think I'm very self-motivating.  I like to see myself achieve my goals.  And excel in what I’m good at.”

 

           "Do you feel like you've ever over promised and under delivered?" 

 

           "Honestly, no.  I don't think so.  I’m very careful about taking on exactly what I believe I can handle.”

 

          "Have you ever slept with a girl, told her you'd call, and then didn't?" 

 

            Chad opened his mouth to speak and then stopped, suddenly hit by the reality of the question.  "Sorry...what?" 

 

           "Well, that's another form of over promising and under delivering, isn't it?" 

 

           "I guess so, but..." 

 

           "How you do one thing in life is how you do most other things.  It all comes back to a question of character.”

 

Chad suddenly appeared extremely uncomfortable.  "Um, no.  I don't remember ever doing that," he replied.  My heart skipped a beat.  God, he was cute. Probably lying, but still cute.

 

"Good!  That's good."  I paused and glanced over my notes.  "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" 

 

"Well, I'd like to stay with a company as this one for a long period of time, granted that I am able to advance my career here." 

 

"Mmm, hmm."  I pretended to scribble something on my legal pad.  “What about kids?”

 

"Kids?" 

 

"Do you see yourself married with kids in ten years?"  Chad hesitated.  "Can I ask you what this has to do with the position?" 

 

"We like candidates who eventually want to settle down.  You know, get married, have kids, buy a house, etc.  They prove to be much more loyal employees."  It was amazing how this lying stuff was getting easier and easier by the day. 

 

"I see," he replied, somewhat unconvinced.  “Yes, I do want kids.”

 

"Are you single now?" 

 

"Um, yes." 

 

A wave of relief fell over me.  But then I suddenly thought, How could this guy be single?  What was wrong with him?  Maybe he was a player.

 

"Have you ever been engaged before?" 

 

"No." 

 

"Married?" 

 

"No."  Chad was obviously trying so hard to keep his professional composure despite the line of unprofessional questioning. 

 

"What are your three best strenghts?" 

 

Chad seemed relieved by the question.  “In the workplace, right?” he clarified with a smile.

 

I giggled and innocently played it off.  "Yes.  Of course in the workplace.” As if he had any reason to assume differently.  “I mean, unless you want to tell me about your strengths in…”

 

"No, that's okay," he interrupted quickly.  "Well."  He considered the question for a moment and then, "I'm a self-starter.  I'm an excellent communicator.  And I work well under pressure."  When he finished, he looked at me.  He was practically cringing, not knowing what my next crazy question would be.

 

Poor Chad.  He must have been so confused.  I almost wanted to get out of my chair and give him a hug.  Sit on his lap, run my fingers through his hair and tell him it would all be okay.  But these were questions that had to be answered.  I couldn’t let my emotions or the fact that I hadn’t had a decent kiss in almost a year get in the way of the main objective.

 

"Great!  Well, I’m going to send you over to a woman named Katie now.  And she’s going to take it from here.”

 

"Okay," Chad said uneasily.  He got up from his chair and offered me his hand.  I felt the slow motion kick in again as I shook it.

 

"I'm sure I'll be calling you soon," I said. 

 

Chad appeared to relax somewhat.  "Great, I look forward to it.  And thanks for agreeing to meet with me." 

 

I showed Chad over to Katie's office and then practically skipped back to my office.  I picked up the phone and dialed Ella.

 

           "Okay, so I know we're not supposed to decide on anything until the end of the week, but I really want this one." 

 

           Ella giggled.   “Which one?”

 

           "I just sent him to Katie's office.  I guess he’ll be coming to you next.  His name is Chad, and I’m seriously telling you, the world stopped when he walked in my door.  I know that sounds cheesy.”

 

           "Awww, I think it's cute." 

 

           Just then there was a knock on my door, and the president of the company entered.  I looked up and felt an immediate pang of panic.

 

           "Ella, I gotta go.  I'll call you back."  I hung up the phone.  “Mr. Andrews.  How are you?  Please sit down.” I reached out my arm and motioned for the empty chair that was probably still warm from Chad's gorgeous ass.  But suddenly seeing the president of our company in that same seat made all thoughts of beautiful asses vanish without a trace...except one of guilt. 

 

           I wasn't sure why he had stopped by.  I relaxed somewhat by assuring myself that he was most likely here to talk about the Manager position in Finance.  We were beginning to really narrow down the candidates, and I know he had met with a few of them.

 

           He sat down and looked at me with a smile.   “So, what did you think?” he asked.

 

           I racked my brain for a moment, trying to come up with some sort of clue as to what he was reffering to.  I came up empty-handed.  

 

           "About what?"  I asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.  My voice cracked slightly, causing me to reach for my tea and take a sip. It was lukewarm.

 

           "About Chad" he said nonchalantly, as if he were asking about last night's baseball game or the macaroni and cheese in the employee cafeteria.  No big deal. 

 

           I froze.  My mind was suddenly a distorted collage of resumes, phone conversations, faces and emails. 

 

           "Did you like him?" he asked. 

 

           Then I remembered.  Chad.  Chad Behrends. The president’s nephew.  He was sent in to interview with me for the Finance manager position. He told me about it last week. 

 

           Oh my dear Lord! 

 

           I had been so wrapped up in my fake job candidates that I completely forgot about my real job candidates.  And especially the one that was the president of the company’s freaking nephew!  Now all I could think about were those awful questions that I had asked him.  I actually asked the president’s nephew about his sex life!