You Get What You Pay For
By Sharon Poppen
Lily and Patrice were having an espresso just across the street from “For Rent - The Man of the Hour.”
For an annual fee and a case-by-case rental charge, this unique emporium offered women the services of a man for whatever need was most pressing at the moment. The twenty-storied building consisted of five showroom floors where the women could browse through several departments with a variety of categories and actually see the men they would be renting. Among the myriad of specialists available were carpenters, plumbers, painters, auto mechanics and romancers.
The upper floors of the building were the living quarters of the men. Customers were not allowed to visit or view this area. It was rumored to be filled with wall-to-wall recliners, small refrigerators stocked with beer. In addition, each man had his own headphones that were connected to his personal large screen TV wired for over 1,000 channels - 70 % sports, 15% nature, 10% cooking, 10% history and 5% major networks. It was also rumored that the local pizza and Chinese food delivery trucks were kept busy twenty-four hours a day with food runs. A housekeeping team made their beds and did their laundry.
Patrice glanced at her watch. "Oh, got to run. “For Rent” opens in ten minutes and I want to be one of their first customers today.”
“Going to see if what I told you about last Saturday night was true?” Lily asked.
With the hint of a blush to her cheeks, Patrice nodded. “Yes, you made it sound beyond risqué.”
“It was beyond risqué; it was downright seductive.” Lily sighed, then licked her lips. “Listen, ask for Romancer 3424. And tell the clerk to have him bring a bottle of that Stone Valley merlot. You won't be sorry.”
“Aren't you going to want him for Saturday night?”
“No, I've got to fly to Phoenix on business. I'll be gone from Thursday through the following Monday. Besides, there are plenty at the Romance Counter to choose from. You'll see. But, I do think I'll go with you. I've got some shelving I want built in my kitchen. I need to check out the Carpenter Department.”
Minutes later, the women entered the well-lit store. They strolled down wide aisles with counter areas decorated in chrome and glass. Behind each counter, sat a dozen or so men, clad in the uniform of their trade, waiting to get the nod that they had been rented. Lily guided her friend past tool belted TV repairmen and baseball capped, Levi wearing gardeners toward the escalator. As they exited on the fourth floor, an arrow directed them to the Romance Counter. It was already crowded.
“Lily, did you see this? It says there's a Bargain Counter on the fifth floor that contains an assortment of categories for reduced rental fees.”
“Trust me. You don't want to go there.”
“Why not?”
“Remember the old saying, 'you get what you pay for'?”
“Yes.”
“Well, a few months back I thought I'd give it a try. I got a good looking guy who was advertised as a plumber and romancer.”
“And?”
“Patrice, it was awful. I had to rent a real plumber to fix the leaks he created, a flooring expert to replace some tiles that got flooded and apparently he got hold of some bogus Viagra because he was a drip in that category, too.”
By now Patrice was laughing as she allowed Lily to guide her toward the Romancer Counter. All temptation to visit the Bargain Counter was forgotten.
About the Author: Sharon Poppen
Sharon Poppen has won awards from the Arizona Authors Assoc. and the National League of American Pen Women. A chapter of her novel After the War, Before the Peace is on-line at www.xlibris.com . Her Western E-Book Hannah is on-line at Virtual Tales www.virtualtales.com. Print anthologies, include: A Flasher’s Dozen, Desert Treasures and Offerings from the Oasis. On-line publications include: A Long Story Short, Apollo Lyre and Laughter Loaf. Sharon is a member of Lake Havasu City Writer’s Group and the Society of Southwestern Authors. Sharon’s goals are to write everyday, publish, as often as possible, and enjoy life every moment.